Therapy
Understanding what you’re going through.
This page explains how cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) looks at common difficulties such as worry, low mood or conflict at home, and the first steps that often help. It is general information and does not replace an individual assessment.
Who this is for
Adults, couples, families and teenagers
Difficulties look different at each stage of life. These are the ones I talk about most.
Adults
Anxiety, low mood, stress, self-esteem, and big life changes.
Couples
Communication, conflict, trust, jealousy, and emotional distance.
Parents and families
Guilt, discipline, tension at home, and raising children through hard times.
Teenagers
Identity, school pressure, screens, mood, and the relationship with parents.
Common difficulties
The things people struggle with most
You don’t need the right words for what you feel. If one of these sounds close, start there.
Anxiety and stress
My mind won’t switch off. I worry about everything.
Understand what keeps the worry going, and learn practical ways to calm your body and your thoughts.
Couples and relationships
We keep having the same argument.
See the pattern between you, and find a different way to talk, listen and repair.
Teenagers
I don’t know how to reach my teenager anymore.
Make sense of what your teenager is going through, and rebuild a connection that feels safe for both of you.
Parenting and family
I love my children, but I feel guilty and exhausted.
Set realistic expectations, handle discipline calmly, and look after yourself as a parent.
Trauma and crisis
Since the war, I haven’t felt like myself.
Recognise how fear and loss show up in daily life, and recover a sense of safety and control.
Self-esteem and boundaries
I always say yes, even when I want to say no.
Understand where people pleasing comes from, and practise setting limits without guilt.
Low mood and anger
I feel low and irritable, and I don’t know why.
Notice what feeds the low mood, and take small steps back toward the things you care about.
Motherhood
Becoming a mother has been harder than I expected.
Talk openly about the changes, the doubts and the exhaustion that often go unspoken after a baby arrives.
The CBT approach
Start small
CBT is one of the most studied forms of therapy. Its core idea is simple: how we interpret what happens shapes how we feel and what we do next. These steps are a good place to begin.
Notice what happens
When the feeling shows up, write down where you were, what went through your mind and what you did next. A few days of notes often show a pattern.
Find the pattern
CBT looks at how thoughts, feelings and actions feed each other. Seeing that cycle clearly is often a relief in itself.
Try one small change
Pick one small step, such as a ten-minute walk or one honest conversation, and repeat it for a week. Then adjust it.
Questions
Common questions
If your question isn’t here, send it through the contact form. There are no silly questions about mental health.
How do I know if therapy is right for me?
If something has been weighing on you for a while and it affects your sleep, work, relationships or how you see yourself, it is worth talking to someone. You don’t need to be in crisis, and you don’t need a diagnosis to start.
What is CBT?
Cognitive behavioral therapy is a structured, evidence-based approach. It focuses on the present: how you interpret what happens, how that makes you feel, and what you do next. It is one of the most researched therapies for anxiety, low mood and many other difficulties.
What can I do on my own?
Notice when the feeling shows up and what tends to follow it, then change one thing at a time, such as your bedtime or a conversation you have been putting off. Many of the videos go through ideas like these. If nothing improves, or it feels too heavy to carry alone, speak to a mental health professional near you.
Can I send you a question?
Yes. The contact form is for questions about the topics on this site, media and interview requests, and talks or training. A message cannot replace an individual assessment, and the form is not an emergency service.
Have a question?
Ask about something you read or watched here, or invite me for an interview or a talk.
In crisis right now? Call Embrace LifeLine on 1564.